“God has a wonderful plan for your life; and so does everybody else!” This is the problem being addressed in this sermon. We must maintain healthy boundaries in our relationships with others so that we can successfully fulfill the plan God has for our lives.
Pastor Richard shares seven observations about this subject that helps the listener deal with both internal issues and external issues in their personal relationships. How are boundaries communicated? What is the relationship between my own self-respect, self-discipline, and my ability to enforce wise boundaries in my interaction with others? How can I be a caring, giving Christian and at the same time maintain my own health and wellbeing? This sermon will provide meaningful insight on those issues
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OUTLINE
Romans 14:12 “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”
Intro
Last week:
I. We Must Set Boundaries on Ourselves This week:
II. We Must Set Boundaries on toward Other People
7 OBSERVATIONS
(1) Boundaries are about asserting responsibility for our own behavior.
(2) Our ability to set healthy relational boundaries flows out of own self-respect & core identity.
Core Identity
Relational Boundaries
Healthy boundary setting begins with the grace of God & your revelation of who you are in Christ.
“In Christ” By Grace
Core Identity
Self- Control Boundar ies
(3) Boundaries let me know what I am responsible for and what I am not responsible for.
Rom. 14:12“So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”
Basic Principle: I am responsible for me and my choices (not you and your choices). You are
responsible for you & your choices, & I am not responsible for you & your choices.
Parable of Prodigal Son
John 5 “Do you want to be made well?”
Rev. 3:20 “Behold, I stand at the door and knock….”
Relational Boundaries
(4) Boundaries maintain mutually acceptable levels of interdependence and intimacy. Gen 13:8-9 “So Abram said to Lot….”
Boundaries are like fences and walls. They keep things out that we don’t want in.
(5) Boundaries should be modeled by parents and learned by children in the home.
(6) Boundaries have to be communicated and enforced to be effective.
Will people get upset when we establish boundaries?
Boundaries mostly get communicated non-verbally—but sometimes must be stated explicitly.
(7) Boundaries are not inconsistent with Christian values of personal sacrifice and service. Matt. 5:41-42 2 Thes. 3:10 John 6:15 Matt. 16:22-23
How to Maintain Healthy Relationships
- Establish Boundaries on our Own Behavior
- Respect Boundaries others Set for their Lives
- Determine Appropriate Boundary for Each Relationship and Communicate it.
- Graciously Give to Others While Maintaining Your Own Health
- Persevere in the Process (Get Help When Needed)
Conclusion: The Payoff
- Clearer self-identity and self-esteem
- Reduced resentment and pressure to find escape through substance or addictive activity
- Joy of Healthy Relationships
Questions
1. Do you feel your family of origin was a good model for healthy boundaries? Why or why not?
2. How does setting boundaries on our own behavior enable us to set boundaries on our interaction with others? How does it equip us to do it? How does it communicate self-respect for the processes of requiring respect from others?
3. Discuss the relationship between self-identity (in Christ), living consistent with your inner values, and setting healthy relational boundaries.
4. What is your understanding of the Key Principle: I am responsible for me & my choices (not yours). You are responsible for you & your choices (not mine).
5. Why must we structure relationships so that others experience the consequence of their own dysfunctional behavior? In what ways does a codependent person fail to do this?
6. Why must the level of interdependence be and remain mutually acceptable to both parties? 7. Discuss the five statements of How to Maintain Healthy Relationships.
