Seven Keys to Resolving Your Conflict
by Pastor Richard Tow
September 20, 2015
Text: James 3:17
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Description: Do you have relationships that are strained? Perhaps there is no open conflict; but the interaction is not as amiable as it should be. Pastor Richard uses the Apostle James’ (3:17) description of godly wisdom as a foundation for ways to resolve relational issues. As a professional mediator, Dr. Tow shares insights gained by conducting hundreds of mediations in family settings, church environment, universities, and businesses. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV).
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OUTLINE
Seven Keys to Resolving Your Conflict
I. Ten Days of Consecration
- Yom Kippur begins Tuesday at sunset and ends Wednesday at sunset.
> Only day High Priest could enter Most Holy Place to make atonement for sin (Lev. 16)
> Celebrate in anticipation of final sacrifice of Christ on the cross. - Hebrews 10:1-4
> Law was preparation and shadow of the reality that would come through Christ.
> Heb. 10:3 is specific reference to Day of Atonement - Romans 14:6, “He who observes a day, observes it to the Lord….”
> Feast dates were appointed by the Lord.
> Passover at Death of Christ; Pentecost in Acts 2:1
> Continue to have significance in God’s program today - Reconciling relationships are important part of the Days of Consecration
II. Seven Keys to Resolving Personal Conflicts
(James 3:13-18)
- First Pure: I will first and foremost get my own heart right!
> “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see….”
> Danger of deception lays primarily in our own heart and mind (Jerm. 17:9)
> Motives of the heart are fundamental issue (James 4:1-3).
> James 3:16 “For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil work are
” - Peaceable: I will go with the intention of finding peace with the other party!
> Not peace at any price for that kind of peace will not last.
> Objective is to restore relationship (Matt. 18:15)
> Psalm 34:12-14 Seek peace and pursue it. - Gentle: I will behave myself in a gentle, kind manner!
> James and John’s error (Luke 9:54)
> What does gentleness look like? A new mom cuddling her baby.
> Galatians 5:22 Fruit of the Spirit - Willing to Yield: I will go with openness to reason!
> Most people confront conflict with a closed mind (position).
> Perhaps there are somethings about this I don’t know. - Full of mercy and good fruits: I will extend mercy to the other party!
> “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matt. 5:7)
> Maybe other party completely wrong and unrepentant: I will give what they don’t deserve
> The other person’s behavior will not define what I do or who I am. - Without partiality: I will be as objective as I possibly can!
> I will not justify my own prejudices.
> So I ask myself some hard questions. - Without hypocrisy: I will be honest with myself and with the other party!
> Truth gets communicated.
> Hypocrisy turns the other party off: sincerity will tend to win them over.
> Sincerity doesn’t guarantee they will behave right, but it increases the chances.
Isaiah 58 and other passages makes pursuing peace with others part of our consecration to God
James 5:17 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”
QUESTONS
- What has been your experience during this Ten Days of Consecration so far?
- Do you have any relationships that are not open conflict, but need improvement?
How do you plan to improve those relationships?
- How does the seven-fold description of godly wisdom in James 3:17 contrast with worldly
wisdom described in James 3:14-15?
- Which of the seven descriptions of godly wisdom spoke most to you today? What is God speaking
to you out of this message today?
